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10 Ways: Build Trust & Safety

Posted on: April 25th, 2024 by Coordinator No Comments

 

I think everyone knows at this point the profound difference it makes if you have trust and psychological safety in your workplace. The challenging part as a leader is embedding it consistently in your culture. It doesn’t happen naturally on its own.  Us humans, we are funny like that.

Whether you lead a board room of executives, a project team, business, group of employees, volunteers…or even a parent leading young adults or teens - these 10 practices apply to you!

Which of these really resonate and work for you? What would you add to the list?

There are so many more great strategies to add to this list!

I’d love to hear what you would add or if you want help in how to apply these with your team or workplace, send me a note!

 

My best always,

 

Jen Todd

Leadership & Transformation Coach

CEO, Breakthrough Partners Inc.

312-543-2595

jtodd@breakthroughpartner.com

www.breakthroughpartner.com

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Too Busy for What’s Important?

Posted on: April 3rd, 2024 by Coordinator No Comments

 

Busy. Busy. Busy…

Every date I tried to schedule with client leaders and friends this week was met with what? BUSY!! We are weeks and months out. I am exhausted just trying to get on our busy calendars.

We like to blame circumstances, work demands, family commitments, people, and the seasons of life…

But the truth is that WE are the controllers of our busyness, and we often have a wishful fantasy that SOMEDAY we will have the “balance” we really want -- when this happens or that happens….

I’m here to burst that utopian bubble for you all. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PINNACLE OF EVERLASTING BALANCE.

Life happens. Things happen.  Nothing stays perfectly balanced in our lives and work. Best laid plans and schedules have to be constantly adjusted.  So, what do we do to make sure we aren’t dysfunctional in our busyness?

Check yourself with these 3 steps and questions below…

➡️ Awareness. Pause the autopilot of doing and do an honest self-awareness check on your BELIEFS around busy.  95% of how we operate is based on subconscious beliefs and stories that live in the recess of our brains.  Ask yourself:

  • What value do you attribute to “being busy”? Society, business and family norms often make it a badge of honor, importance and worth which results in lots of over-doing.
  • How do you feel when you are “not busy”? High performers and achievers often feel uncomfortable, fearful and self-critical when they aren’t busy enough and can’t rest or slow down.

➡️ Alignment. Get clear on your TRUE priorities and goals holistically and see how aligned your schedule to what’s important to you.  Ask yourself:

  • How is your personal well-being and what daily practices are doing for self-care?
  • Do you have space for the work, life, family and relationship goals you aspire to achieve?

➡️ Adjustment. Deploy practices to check in and adjust to align with your priorities taking into account REAL LIFE situations in the present moment.  Ask yourself daily:

  • What changes do you need to make today to support your wellness & important priorities?
  • Do you need to give yourself permission to let go of doing something or have a boundary?

I know these steps look easier said than done. I’ve been adjusting my mindset and practices for years to support all aspects of my life as a coach, solo business owner, full time single mother and the many other roles I play in life.  It’s a fluid process!

If this hit home and you know you need adjust your busy factor and dive deeper on the 3 A’s, reach out and let’s chat, I’d love to support you!

 

My best always,

Jen

Struggle Giving Feedback? 3 Simple Steps (video)

Posted on: March 7th, 2024 by Coordinator No Comments

 

Do you get sweaty palms, pits or anxiety when you know you need to give someone constructive or negative feedback? In my 30ish years working in the business world, feedback is a constant challenge and stress for leaders and employees everywhere. And let’s be honest, people in all settings – personal relationships can be even more difficult!

I love giving constructive feedback to people when something does not go well!

Said. No. One. Ever.

So many fears, reactions, emotions, and complexities. People tend to over-think, over-react, avoid, procrastinate, resist and often OBSESS about how to give feedback to others.

 

Watch my video below for 3 steps to give feedback that is

CLEAR, CONCISE & CONCIEVABLE.

Given the spring weather that many of us are hoping for right now, I dug up this video I did outside on my lake last summer so you can enjoy the scenery while you watch!

This video will simplify the complexity of giving feedback and follow 3 easy steps to:

  1. PREPARE: Actions to prepare your state of mind/emotions, common purpose and key points (critical step that's often missed!)
  2. GIVE FEEDBACK: 3 steps for giving feedback based on Center for Creative Leadership's (CCL) SBI model that help you clarify and convey the feedback (we often lead with details or emotions that muck up the points we are trying to make). I love this model because all my clients get it very quickly, it’s easy and logical to follow. Thanks CCL, to read more about the model go here.
  3. ENGAGE & GAUGE IMPACT: Tuning in and inquiring on what the person received and heard and discussing next steps for actions and change after you’ve shared it (2 way dialogue is key.)

If you try this out, I’d love to hear how it goes, email me here.

As always, please reach out if you need support or your leadership team or culture are ‘feedback adverse’ or not very skilled in it.

Giving and receiving feedback are critical leadership competencies that can make or break the performance, teamwork, and well-being of people and organizations. It also impacts our personal relationships, so let’s dig in and do this right!

P.S. If you’re on LinkedIn and would like to receive this newsletter on there, click here.

 

My best always,

 

Jen

Why No One Takes Your Advice

Posted on: February 11th, 2024 by Coordinator No Comments

 

“I just don’t understand WHY they aren’t doing anything different?? I’ve been telling them for months how they need to change!!”

 

Said with great vehement frustration…

 

This was a coaching conversation I had with a CEO recently about a senior leader who was not taking their advice on how to behave and operate differently.

 

Ever been there with someone? Oh I’m sure you have…

 

I have stopped giving my expert advice of TELLING leaders what to do after 20 years of being a consultant. Why? Because…

 

ADVICE DOES NOT LEAD TO CHANGE IN PEOPLE.

 

And I’m all about meaningful shifts in beliefs and behaviors that produce tangible results. There are many reasons why people don’t act on good directional advice. Let me share a few biggies here…

 

Why Doesn’t Advice Work?

1. They are WATCHING you, not listening to what you say.

Only 7% of communication that gets received is the VERBAL data that is spoken. 93% of what gets communicated comes from nonverbals – voice, tone, body language, energy and actions.
This well-known study was based on Albert Mehrabian, a researcher of body language, who looked at the components of face-to-face conversations. Now add all the electronic communication leaders do over email, texts, social platforms and there can be wild interpretations about what is REALLY being conveyed. To further support this, observational learning research shows that there is more openness to follow the behavior of others acting positively, versus following advice and instructions.

The leadership saying of you must “walk the talk” and role model the change you want to see in others is way more impactful than telling people how to act.

 

2. People inherently RESIST ADVICE and want agency to choose.

Behavior psychology research on the reactance theory suggests that when people tell us what to do and how to do it, we respond with defensive defiance because humans are wired to maximize their freedom and decision-making.  Deep down, everyone wants agency over their actions. Think about when people give you unsolicited advice….it often feels like judgement, criticism or they know better than you. When we push our way as THE way or the best way, we suppress, squash and steal people’s opportunity to bring their wisdom, ideas, skills and whole selves to the job.

Engaging people to think about, decide and choose for themselves how to act increases motivation, empowerment, and ownership.

 

3. Fear based authoritarian advice BREEDS COMPLIANCE and survival response.

Directions from authority that are fear and threat based – at best –get compliance and obedience but not empowered inspired actions. People can sense and feel when there is even a whiff of fear in the air. This activates the survival part of the brain that flares up the nervous system and results in Fight or Flight stress reactions. This is when people call leadership coaches like me and ask how to deal with all the dysfunctional, unproductive behaviors in employees and teams.


When tempted to give advice, pause and check yourself… are you coming from and inciting fear or inviting empowered inspired action?

 

Being a leader that engages and empowers others is a delicate dance of imparting our wisdom in a way that lights up the wisdom in others.

If you are a leader that wants to learn how to light up others, send me a note, I’d love to explore how I can support you!

 

My best always,

 

Jen

Make Your Dreams Real This New Year

Posted on: December 28th, 2023 by Coordinator No Comments

 

This last week of the year is the “the time in-between”. Sometimes we can feel like we are floating in space, recovering from the holiday hustle, but not yet into the doing energy of new year.

What day is it? What time is it? Should I relax, play, work, catch up on my Netflix, TO DO list, house cleaning, or what???

Awwwh, let’s just take a deep breath.

There are many things you can do this week, but I invite you to take time and breathe, slow down, and tune into your heart desires and dreams as the calendar changes ….

 

HAVE YOUR REFLECTED & WRITTEN DOWN YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS?

There is real power in WRITING down your goals. A famous study showed that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals when you just write them down.  42%, people - get out your pen!!

If you need some juicy questions to explore your dreams, check out #3 on this blog I wrote for #AHumanWorkplace Take Care of Your Whole Self this Season.

 

 

DO YOU HAVE A DREAM OF HAVING YOUR OWN BUSINESS?

I started my business almost 20 years ago and have helped many people start their dream business, and it is my passion! I know about the fears and challenges that must be overcome, and the actions that are needed to take the leap.

If this dream is in you and you want to make it REAL, book a private complimentary call with me to clarify your goals and hear about my 2024 coaching programs coming out designed for YOU.

If someone you know has been telling you they always wanted to do this, please send this to them. This is the greatest gift you can give them– supporting their dream to come true!

 

ARE YOU A CONSULTANT OR COACH THAT WANTS COMMUNITY & GROWTH?

Calling all solo entrepreneurs who are tired of doing it all alone, want a peer community, and to enhance their impact with clients and how they lead their business!

I have a few spots open for a Mastermind group cohort that kicks off in Mid-January.

 

To learn more about this group and explore if it’s a good fit, schedule a time to talk to me and send me an email to get a video about it.

 

May you rest in this in-between time and dream your best dream for the new year. I look forward to connecting with you in 2024, cheers to being the best YOU!

In gratitude,

Take Care of Yourself This Season

Posted on: December 6th, 2023 by Coordinator No Comments

 

The most wonderful time of the year – or most stressful? December is filled with holiday and year-end over-committing, over-buying, over-working, over-calendaring, over-eating and drinking and just plain OVERDOING.

Even the most joyful things are done to excess and with a frenzy of timelines and unrealistic expectations.

To make it through this next month with some peace, we need to go against the norms and stories about “doing it all” and take care of our whole selves – our minds, hearts, bodies and souls.

What stories do you tell yourself that cause you to not take care of yourself?

Read my blog from last year Take Care of Your Whole Self this Season about how we are conditioned for overdoing and 3 ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE to bring you more peace this season.

Thank you to my friends at #AHumanWorkplace for publishing this blog and partnering this year to bring wholeness and humanity to leaders around the globe.

When we slow down to get centered, listen to our souls and choose wisely what to do (or not), that inner peace that the holiday tunes wishfully sing, can actually come true.

Wishing you, my friend, a beautiful holiday season in whatever you chose to do. May you find the peace, joy and magic that lives inside you….

 

Jen

Gratitude and Grief Can Co-Exist

Posted on: November 21st, 2023 by Coordinator No Comments

 

Coming into the holidays and this week in the U.S., we want to be all about gratitude. But the reality is that holidays aren’t all joy and thankfulness, they bring a lot of grief for people too.

We don’t have to make this an Either/OR choice – like if we have grief that must mean we aren’t grateful for other things in life, or vice versa…

The fullest expression of the authenticity of life is to hold both gratitude in our hearts and honor any grief that we may have as well.

Grief is obvious when there has been a death, but there are many other kinds of losses that don’t get acknowledged. Relationship changes or endings, job losses, relocations, children moving away or growing up, major illnesses, families and friendships and traditions that are no longer the same...

How can you flow with gratitude and grief through these holidays?

Here are some quick Do’s and Don’ts for you and others this season…

DO…

  1. Allow feelings of grief to be present & honor what you loved - see my GRIEF principles below.
  2. Embrace gratitude only about what you are authentically grateful for – don’t fake or force it.
  3. Acknowledge who or what has been lost - simply name it or create a comforting ritual if appropriate.

DON’T…

  1. Judge yourself or others for how they grieve – witnessing with compassion is what is needed.
  2. Pressure or guilt yourself or others into doing things that don’t feel good – it’s OK to say No and take care of yourself.
  3. Try to “cheer” others up or tell them to be grateful – let people feel and be where they are.

As grief pops up this season, remember it is a natural normal reaction to loss and it’s not only OK to grieve, but it’s necessary to heal and grow.

Here are my 5 principles for navigating grief. May they serve you as you take care of yourself and others this season.

Grateful for you in the world and this community.  Sending love to you season…

Jen Todd

They Thought I was Nuts…But it was Intuition

Posted on: November 9th, 2023 by Coordinator No Comments

 

When I finally figured out how to trust my intuition, I made decisions that profoundly changed the course of my life and career. My intuition led me to:

  • Leave a stable, comfy corporate job to start a consulting and coaching business doing what I LOVE, without any guarantees of success.
  • Fly to Africa with 2 weeks’ notice to follow a deep calling to start a women’s empowerment mission in Kenya.
  • Foster and adopt my precious daughter by myself as a single 40-year-old.
  • Write my first book during the anxiety ridden downtime in covid lockdown.
  • Leave the big city condo life in downtown Chicago to move to a house on a small remote lake in Michigan.

In each of these cases, the logical world might have called me nuts – which by the way many people did. I bet one of you is saying right now - YEP, I THOUGHT YOU WERE NUTS JEN TODD!

That’s ok, look at me now. Every one of these big intuitively led decisions, and all the small ones, have proven to be the BEST and most fulfilling things in my life and were part of my unique path.

That is what intuition does for us!

Using our intuition in how we lead in the world is a lost art….Actually, let’s be honest, it’s never been an art at all, or embraced as a valid competency or credible source for decisions in the professional linear logical world.

Intuition gets called frivolous or woo woo because it doesn’t always follow the logic, the nice, expected plan, or the tried-and-true ways that feel comfortable. Sometimes the intuitive nudges feel shocking, overwhelming, strange, scary, wildly adventurous… and sometimes it feels exactly perfect in your soul and RIGHT IN ALL WAYS.

Do you know when your intuition is speaking, and do you trust and follow it?

I love helping leaders feel confident in connecting with their intuition and witnessing the power of how it transforms how they work, lead and live.

If you want to learn more about this, join me TODAY, Thursday 11/9, at 12:30 EST as I share about the power of intuition and accessing the wisdom that lives inside you. SIGN UP NOW

Hope to see you there! If you are seeing this late and wish you could have come to workshop, email me here and I will send you a recording and we will connect about other programs coming up.

Thanks for being part of this community – sending my best always,

Jen

3 Ways to Be More Confident

Posted on: October 27th, 2023 by Coordinator No Comments

 

I was leading a group last week and during an insightful visualization, they all saw that they weren’t really trusting themselves and tapping into their full power and potential. Do you really trust in yourself and feel CONFIDENT?

Let’s get right to it. This is the story of you and me, and most people I know.

They LOOK confident on the outside, but inside, all of us have little gremlins that hold us back and erode our confidence. It takes focus and intentional practices not to live in the autopilot of fear-based thinking, self-criticism, and imposter syndrome.

Here are 3 practical ways to build self-trust and confidence…

1. Shift Negative Self-Talk Immediately. Stop the cycle of self-criticism, judgment, and beating yourself up. Repetitive, ruminating negative thoughts create feelings of unworthiness, failure, and guilt. The cultural belief that we need pain and punishment to perform and succeed is WAY OUTDATED. Interrupt those patterns and build your self-affirmation powers. For my 3-step process to make quick radical shifts, click here.

2. Affirm Yourself When You Follow Through. Stop obsessing about what you didn’t get done. Every time you overcome a challenge, achieve a goal, follow through on tasks, and stay accountable, especially when things are hard, deserves your recognition. Even checking off the little mundane tasks (which drive me crazy by the way!) can build self-trust when you ‘do what you say you are going to do.’ The more you are accountable to yourself, the more you will trust your capabilities, resilience, and brilliance.

3. Get Into Your Intuition & Voice of Truth. Get out of your head. Slow down the doing and get present in your body. The voice of truth and your inner wisdom are inside you. So much truth and guidance are available in the way of callings, gut feelings, hunches, and information from somatic physical body sensations. If you aren’t sure how to trust your intuition and the wisdom in your body, come to my free workshop on 11/9/23.

Click HERE to sign up.

Click HERE to sign up.

Grateful for who you are and all you do in the world. Thanks for being part of this community!

My best always,

Jen Todd

What is Your Body Telling You?

Posted on: October 13th, 2023 by Coordinator No Comments

 

As soon as the calendar ticks to October and the crisp chill hits the air and I snap the first crackly leaf under my shoe, my body shutters, and my heart swelters with a familiar wave of grief.  October is my mother’s birthday month and soon thereafter is Thanksgiving, the weekend she died 5 years ago.

In one quick minute, the entire last month of her life flashes through my mind’s eye and I am swept away…

Our bodies hold onto memories of grief, past wounds, and trauma.

They get lodged into our tissues. Seasons changing, smells, sounds, familiar places, and situations are noticed by the physical body well before we can wrap our logical minds around what is happening.

This is why we must pay attention to what our bodies are saying to us.

In the professional world, I see people checking out of their bodies the minute they enter the workplace. They aren’t aware of their physical presence and emotional triggers and cues, and thus they have a hard time managing stress, connecting with and collaborating with others. They are like caricature cartoon talking heads. Everyone around them can see and sense there’s a lot going on inside them, but they are totally tuned out.

There is so much intelligence that comes from tuning into our bodies.

From alerts and needs around our wellness, to emotional triggers, social cues around psychological safety and belonging, what and who lights us up and drags us down, and guidance about what to do…all of this our body can tell us, if we just tune in and listen.

In my last blog, I wrote about creating brave spaces for people to show up and be heard so we can have important difficult conversations. To foster that, we have to bring our whole selves to work.

Our nervous systems, which are often on overload and high alert, need calming and attuning so we can think clearly, operate in the zone of our best self and find safety and centeredness in our own bodies. 

Take 2 minutes right now to Listen to your Body and read this excerpt from my Daily Nuggets of Truth book.

If you want to learn more about the brain/body connection, how to shift from stories of the past and operate from your best self, come to my free workshop on November 9th.

Click HERE to sign up.

Keep listening to your body and bringing your whole and best self to the world. We need all of you. Grateful to have you as part of my community!

My best always,

Jen